that cheerful giver

"Each one must do as he purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion for God loves a cheerful giver." --2 Corinthians 9:7

This is one of those difficult Scriptures.  

You know, the ones that pierce right through the heart of man, causing a brief extended moment of reflection and soul searching. 

But, unfortunately, it has become a Scripture tied to mostly financial giving.  American Churches have branded this Scripture, "Yepp see, God loves a cheerful giver, so write me a nice check and do so happily.  Because God will bless you if you bless me."

I'm sorry.  I hope you see right through me and know that I am not judging.  Certainly not trying to, just wanting to bring light to a Scripture that means more than dollar signs and financial donations. 

I have purposed in my heart to be a homemaker.  

I have purposed in my heart to be Caleb's wife. 

I have purposed in my heart to be Daniella and Aaliya's mommy. 

I have purposed in my heart... 

And in this crazy, twisted, amazing life I live I try really hard to be a cheerful giver.  I want to be cheerful in my giving to my children and to my husband.  I want to be a cheerful giver to those I welcome into our home.  

I want to joyfully serve. 

But truthfully, it doesn't always happen.  When the rubber meets the road, I tend to lose it. A lot.  I often wonder if I chose this life "under compulsion" and such thinking often leads to that awful "grudgingly" attitude.  

So, once again it goes back to that whole "His grace is sufficient for me" (Phil. 4:9) truth.  

I purposed in my heart to be a homemaker because He has given me His grace to do so. 

I purposed in my heart to be Caleb's wife because He has given me His grace to do so. 

I purposed in my heart to be Daniella and Aaliya's mommy because He has given me His grace to do so. 

He has purposed to give me His heart, so He joyfully gives to me. 

How often I forget in my journey that He has placed the fullness of His kingdom within me and so with that, I already have everything inside of me to be a godly, wise and perfect wife, mom and homemaker.  Because of who He is inside of me, I have already attained that Proverbs 31 woman status.  He sees the fullness of His Son within me, so I am perfect in His eyes and I have been given every tool under Heaven to cheerfully give, abundantly give and perfectly give, serve and love my family and those He entrusts to our path. 

"I pray that out of His glorious he may strenghten you with power through His Spirit in your inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and grounded in love may have power together, with all His Holy people to know how wide, how long, and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-- that you may be filled to the fullness of God." (Eph 3:16-17)