Shulamite Mom

Thursday, April 28, 2011

questions that plague a mommy's heart

This will be an all-around post because there is much to discuss.

So sit down with me, grab a cup of coffee (Grande soy xtra caramel Caramel Machiatto? yes please!) and let's chat.

Have you ever been clueless at parenting? I mean completely unsure on what to do and how? Insecure of what exactly you should or shouldn't be doing? I mean it's pretty much a hit or miss and this is someone's life we're talking about!

Oh, you haven't? Yeah, me neither. :l

Aaliya is growing by leaps and bounds and the more she grows the more unsure I am of my ability to mother. I know in my heart of hearts that I am more than able with His strength to raise and train up these little ones. After all, He has chosen me to be her mommy.

He's chosen me to be the mommy to this strong, loving and loud little boo-boo. Nevertheless, I wonder.

Is letting her cry it out really the best thing or should I comfort her and be close to her? Is wanting to be held and loved a lot a sign of spoiling or of a child who just loves Mommy, Daddy, and the others who often hold her? How can I get her to nap so that her little body is well-rested? When is the proper time to start disciplining on her heart and her character? Can I really train up this child in the way that she should go so that she can be an overwhelming conqueror in the trying times ahead? Really Lord?

Then, of course we've got our very unique and special circumstances with Daniella.

Being a stepmom is probably one of the hardest jobs in the world. Yes, even harder than being a biological mommy. As a stepmommy you love a little one like they are your own. But, you've got to share them. Sharing your children is one of the toughest things as a mom. It is painful and wonderful all in one. Don't tell me I can't love this one like she's my own. Because I do. So then the questions start to rise...

Lord, how do I convey how much I really do love her without stepping over the God-given boundaries that exist? What is my role in training up this young one? How will she feel about me? How does she feel about me? Does she know how much I really care? Does the time we're apart wear on her confidence of my love for her? Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much?

Oh the questions that plague a Mommy's heart. My prayer to You oh God is that You will teach me, guide me and show me how to be a mommy to these ones.

Truly, I don't know how women mother without Christ.

Without Him, I'm not entirely sure I would have survived the last eight months. And, seriously kudos to you single mamas who don't have daddy's support and involvement.

It is truly by the grace of God that we mother and that we breathe.

What about you? What are some of the questions that plague your Mommy heart and how do you strengthen yourself in the Lord and in His goodness?

Monday, April 25, 2011

the character of Hannah

This part four of the Heart of Hannah series, if you're just joining us click here to start at the beginning.

Hannah's charater was absolutely remarkable. She was a woman who lived out honor with great poise and lowliness.

After Hannah had her mini-breakdown and cried to Elkanah (I mean who wouldn't? She's got no children and her husband's other wife is a mean lady who likes to taunt her and show off her offspring), she went straight to the temple and she poured herself out over the Lord.

"She, greatly distressed, prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly." (1 Samuel 1:10)

She didn't hold on to her resentment. She didn't go back to Penninah's room, take off her jewelry and put on vaseline to throw down.

No. Instead she chose the Mary thing. She poured herself out over her Maker. She poured her heart out to Him knowing He would answer. (more on her prayer life next time)

And what happened after this?

The high priest, watching by the temple gates thought she was drunk. He essentially told her to put away whatever she was drinking. Hannah, in the middle of her distress was called a drunk.

"Then Eli said to her, 'How long will you make yourself drunk? Put away your wine from you.'" (1 Samuel 1:14)
Ouch!

Yeah, at this point I might've lost it. Seriously.

Yet Hannah with grave dignity and lowliness of spirit responded with a remarkable vulnerability and no offense.

"But Hannah replied, 'No, my lord, I am a woman oppressed in spirit; I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have poured out my soul before the LORD. Do not consider your maidservant as a worthless woman, for I have spoken until now out of my great concern and provocation." (1 Samuel 1:15-16)

In the midst of her pain, she again responds with grace and grave dignity. She never fought back in human standards.

She never dishonored Eli as the high priest. He was human and she understood this. She honored his authority and received his rebuke (though misplaced) as an opportunity to learn.

She responded in love, not offense.

Matthew Henry says it this way;

"It ill becomes us to be rash and hasty in our censures of others, and to be forward to believe people guilty of bad things, while either the matter of fact on which the censure is grounded is doubtful and unproved or is capable of a good construction. Charity commands us to hope the best concerning all, and forbids censoriousness. She had been reproved by Elkanah because she would not eat and drink, and now to be reproached by Eli as if she had eaten and drunk too much was very hard. Note, It is no new thing for those that do well to be ill thought of, and we must not think it strange if at any time it be our lot. When we are unjustly censured we should endeavour, not only to clear ourselves, but to satisfy our brethren, by giving them a just and true account of that which they misapprehended."

Are you a woman of character like Hannah? I want to be. I want to be like Hannah Jesus. In what areas could your character grow to be more like Hannah?

Friday, April 22, 2011

broken dreams can live again

pas·sion [pash-uhn]: a strong affection or enthusiasm for an object or concept.

Webster's proceeded to define passion with a series of descriptions defining lust and immorality and sex and ended with the definition the sufferings of a martyr.

As much as I'd like to say I'm writing about the last definition, I'm actually writing about the first. No, not the description of lust and immorality, the other first.

As a teenager I was one passionate kid. I mean, seriously.

It got me into trouble. Big trouble. But then again, it also served as a strength. I made foolish decisions out of passion while lacking in wisdom but I lived life to the fullest every second. But now, having lived a little, fell ~~a little~~ a lot, I've seemed to have lost most of the passion that defined me growing up.

Don't get me wrong, I'm passionate about my God and my family, yes... But even in that, there's passions placed in my heart for a reason and a purpose that I just seemed to have let go of.

And sadly this seems to be the case for most adults I know.

What is it about growing up that causes us to stop pursuing our dreams, to give up and give in to the mundane day to day living out mediocrity at best and forsaking the youthful dreams we once had?

Ok, so some of them are out of reach (let's face, I will never be a professional dancer) but does that mean that because I can't reach the moon I have to give up my love and pursuit of it altogether?

I sure hope not. For the sake of my family and unto the glory of God, I sure hope not.

I had a Daddy who was passionate about music. Playing it, hearing it, making it. I remember growing up, having watched him play every percussion instrument in the salsa world and the effect it had on me to see the passion in his heart being poured forth into music. It's always been an outlet. It's always been his way to worship... He is an outstanding Daddy passionate about his children, but he is also an outstanding man passionate about music.

And I think that's what we forget. At least I have.

I am a wife and I am a mother. But I'm also a woman with God-given passions, dreams and desires. I can't be great at one if I'm not great at the other. It is not a separation of identities, but rather the completion of who I've become. I cannot be an outstanding mother and wife if I am incomplete as a woman, and I cannot be an outstanding woman if I am forsaking the very ministry of family I have been blessed with.

I pray that my children grow up seeing how absolutely passionate I am about them and their Daddy, but I also pray they will grow up seeing how absolutely passionate I am about the Lord and how I worship and adore Him through the various gifts and passions He has ordained upon my heart.

I want to dream again. I want to dream as an adult, alongside my husband and children. I want to pursue the things I love to do with them and for them, so that they may see the complete me and not just half. I want both my girls to see Mommy do something that makes her come to life through Jesus. Whether it be dance, hospitality, teaching or painting...

I want them to see me worship Jesus through the passions He has placed within me.

Well, here goes nothing...

the line in the sand

Happy Good Friday Ya'll! =)

I got the absolutely outstanding opportunity to spend some time with both my daughters and do a devotional this morning.

It really humbles me when the reality of Christ's plan for my life really hits me. He has chosen to be a parent to both these little girls. He has trusted me to steward their upbringing.

So, naturally, today I told them the story of Christ's death and His resurrection. I wanted to go into as much as detail as possible without compromising Daniella's innocence, but still tell the entire truth.

The last thing I want is to teach my daughter a watered-down gospel.

Honestly though... It was hard and I ~~mostly~~ struggled through it. How do I explain to my 5 yr old that Jesus was stripped, beat, had his beard ripped out and was silent like a lamb for His glory, His purposes and His love?

I don't want to compromise the word of God, but I want to preserve my little on'e's innocence as much as possible.

Such is the latest challenge here in the Arrazolo household.

As I was struggling, choking on words to explain to my little one how Jesus died on that wondrous cross, I sent a silent plea to heaven for some serious help.

Once again I am reminded that I am simply a steward for my children and His leading will never lead me astray. Asking His help before devotional would probably be a good idea and learning more about my children will better equip me for devotionals like today.

There is just simply no "one size fits all" parenting and what works with Daniella probably won't with Aaliya.

This parenting business is a day to day, moment to moment reminder of our dependance on the precious Holy Spirit. It is an outward journey that screams out to me "My ways are better than yours and My thoughts are higher!"

"Thank you Holy Spirit for the uniqueness in each of my daughters and for your leading and guiding in parenting every step of the way. Lead me on Abba! Lead me on..."

What about you? How do you both spiritually and practically discern between what and how to explain "difficult" concepts to your children?

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Homemade Baby Food! Yipee! =)

So, remember when I said I wanted to start making things from scratch?

Well, I did it!

Well, not all of them of course... But I'm on my way! On Monday I made my very first batch of baby food and may I just say it was super easy and kinda fun!

On the menu:
Peaches && Yogurt
Sweet Potatoes

I wanted to start off easy so that I didn't frighten myself and convince myself out of it. I'm glad I did because with this first batch, I'm gaining confidence and I'm ready to take on the entire world (okay, maybe not the whole world, but I'm loving this cooking from scratch thing-- I think I can do it!)

Here is a memory book post on my "homemade baby food" journey... =)

I started off with the peaches. I used frozen ones because I'd heard fresh fruit turned brown when frozen. I allowed the peaches to be thawed, and then went ahead and threw them in the blender. I want to be able to do the baby food by the bulk since I'm using a blender and not a food processor. (*note: The blender glass is dirty because this was round 2 on the peaches. I forgot to take pictures the first go-around.)

I decided to add a little yogurt to the peaches because I had a hard time getting them to be completely pureed and because Aaliya is a huge yogurt fan! This actually turned out quite yummy and Aaliya loves it.

Tadaaa! Complete result =)

I found these great containers at Babies R' Us that I love! One of my concerns when making the baby food in bulk was how to store it. Some recommended the ice-cube tray method, but seeing as I wasn't sure how many ounces and such Aaliya would be getting when I found these at Babies R' Us I decided to try them. They are fairly inexpensive and I love them! (2 trays of 8 for $10.99, add a coupon [or two] and voila!)They are 2oz containers and they allow me to mix and match for Aaliya's menu. I shall be returning to the store for more!