Thursday, June 21, 2012

poured out

"Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. 
-Psalms 62:8

It has been a trying month and some change for our family. As I shared previously, my husband lost his job (and he is the sole provider).  We've also faced the joy and the challenge of a brand new baby boy and adjusting to life with a school-age child, a toddler and a newborn.  Then, this past week... we all got hit with a nasty devious and I'm quite convinced demonic stomach bug. 

Every part of my stamina was tested as Daddy, toddler and Mommy all got sick.  Newborn is thankfully immune, yet still demanding.  I was absolutely empty on every level. So I snuck into my secret place, my quiet place to search Him out and pray... the shower. 

Yes. My now most sacred place to soul-search alone and without distraction is indeed the shower. Such is the life of a mommy and wife. 

As I began to pray and listen to His Word (thank you Bible.Is app!) Psalm 62 was impressed upon my heart. So I still myself and listen. 

"My soul waits in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation... My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken." (Ps 62:1,2b)

I will not be greatly shaken. Then, again...

"My soul waits in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him.  He only is my rock and my salvation." (Ps 62:5-6a)

It is so easy to become entangled in the worries of today.  It is so easy to forget that His mercies are new every single morning.  It's so easy to forget that there is grace for whatever today brings.  Grace is a lifestyle and I'm currently living it. 

Then verse eight caught me dead in my tracks. 

Trust in Him at all times.  Pour out your heart before Him

That was all my weary soul needed to hear.  I am to pour my heart before Him because He is my refuge.  He is my safe-place, my Haven. My heart was intrigued, so I looked a little deeper.  And come to find out "pour" in the original text was the word "shaw-fak.'"  

It isn't just a neat pouring like we're pouring pancake batter onto a pan.  It is "to spill forth (like blood), to expend and to intensively sprawl out."  It is an absolute and complete throwing of my heart on to who He is. 

He is worthy of my heart.  He has won it through Calvary's cross and Resurrection's victory.  He is worthy of my heart and yours

So today, I want to invite you to spill forth, expend and intensively sprawl out your heart before the One who created it, who knows it better than you do.  Whatever is plaguing you, wherever you need grace and whatever is breaking you at this very moment... Just spill it forth and pour it out before the LORD.  He is truly a safe place, a refuge and a Haven. 

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

a testimony of grace

He's here! 
Haven Justice
June 01, 2012

Our little man has finally come and graced us with his presence.  It has been a long blogging hiatus, but as I'm slowly getting adjusted to life with one more pair of little feet around the home, I am encouraged to write and share with ya'll the beauty of His grace in this crazy, hectic, insane and beautiful season of our lives.

Over the last few weeks, we have experienced many different opportunities where the Lord is clearly placing us on the Potter's table and molding us.  The resounding encouragement from His heart to mine in this season is that "There is grace."

There. Is. Grace

There is grace to face today with a newborn and a toddler.  And not only do I have enough grace to survive, I have enough grace to train up my children and spend quality time with them.

There is grace over our family's finances as we face my husband's lay off and unemployment. His Word reminds me that He will meet every single one of our family's needs according to His riches and glory. Last time I checked He is the most magnificent and glorious Being and He delights in showing off His grandeur in our lives.

There is grace over my marriage as we adjust and adapt to the responsibility of one more little soul to shepherd. There is grace to overcome every obstacle and hindrance to intimacy and an abundant, satisfied life.

There is grace. There is grace being poured out over my spirit and heart every second of every day.  I am reminded daily that His grace is sufficient.  That when the house is a mess and my severe OCD is violently offended and therefore my flesh is prone to act out, there is grace extended. I only have to receive it.

There is grace. When our bills pile up and physically all seems at a loss, there is grace to remember that today I have enough.  Whatever tomorrow brings will be faced tomorrow-- and when that moment of testing comes... There will still be grace.

The birth of our son has challenged me to remember His grace, goodness and mercy. It has taught me that sometimes, I can't get it all done.  It has pushed me to rest (foul, foul four letter word) and to slow-down.  It has encouraged me to reconsider my view of success as a keeper and tender of the home.

All in exactly thirteen days.