Thursday, August 8, 2013

for when we want to complain

I am not a happy pregnant person. Never. I've been pregnant twice and twice I have been jipped of that "glow and joy" women feel when they're pregnant.  I mean, halfway through my pregnancy, I am done being pregnant.  Really, really done. Shoot, by the time 36 weeks come I am bribing the doctor to just move the C-Section date up a week or three. I hate the nausea, and the hormone insanity that rushes through my body.  I hate the discomfort and the aches and pains. I hate blowing up like a balloon and always feeling tired. It's just not my favorite season of life.  Some women love being pregnant and others, like me, hate it.

But then....

Then I remember my amazing friend who wants a baby so so bad but has miscarried three times.  She would give anything to *not* complain about her pregnancy. Then, I find that an old friend DID have her baby halfway through her pregnancy and he went to be with Jesus an hour after being born.  Suddenly, I am reminded of a dear friend who tried and tried and tried to get pregnant for four years.  They were years filled with tears, a fight to keep the faith and hope deferred.

And suddenly, complaining about cankles and some weight gain, just seems super silly. Actually, complaining about any of the hard parts of mothering seem silly in comparison to the pain some women feel when they are unable (even if for a season) to conceive, carry and deliver babies.

I am not pregnant. And I have no plans of becoming pregnant anytime soon. And this post isn't about a desire or anything of the sort.  But it is a post that I pray will raise awareness. Mommies, we know this job is hard work.  I mean, really hard work. And it is so very easy to fall into the trap of complaining about how very hard our job is.  But I am begging you Mommy, in that moment when you want to give in to complaining, to think about my friend who wants a baby but has miscarried three times. I dare you to think about my friend who can no longer hold her son because he was born so incredibly premature and think about the four long years of trying my other friend endured.  Seriously.  Pregnancy, mothering. It's all hard.  But I am now convinced, after walking the path with several friends of mine, that harder is the path of hope deferred than the path we walk on dear Mommy Friends. 

Let's make a deal that we won't complain about our toddlers' tantrums or sleepless nights or achy backs. Let's instead walk gratefully at the gifts we've been given and marvel in their little hearts and little feet.  Let's pray for our sisters who ache for children they once had but didn't get to hold.  Let's pray for our sisters who ache for children they will one day have... or not.  Let's just walk in thankfulness and bear our sisters' burdens.



  1. I just want to say this hit very close to home. After being pregnant ten years ago and having our first daughter my husband and I tried desperately for eight years to get pregnant and nothing then the last two weeks of this July I took a pregnancy test I couldn't figure out why I felt the way I did the test came back positive I thought maybe I was a month or two pregnant to my surprise I was 4and a half months pregnant I didn't know bc I thought it was impossible at this point. Dealing with disappointment ever time I saw someone with a baby, every time I saw a mom who was about to pull her hair out, thinking what I wouldn't give to be tired and cranky and feel overwhelmed. I was so happy I wanted to tell everyone right away. The morning sickness is bad and back pain isn't great but I'm so thankful to be pregnant I just ask my friends and family for prayer during those times I don't want to complain not ever for this is a true gift from God. Sometimes we just don't know how blessed we are, in the hard time I encourage you to remember how blessed you are truly.

  2. You know Nic (yes I will now call you 'Nic') this was actually a very good blog post... I would post in response to your awesome post, but instead I will post on my surprise that your post actually passed as awesome to begin with. Congratulations on making the first decent and readable blog since Paula used the "N" word on T.V. I won't say that I am a fan just yet, but I am saying that I would buy your slot for good ad revenue if I were a prospective venture capitalist ( and who is to say that I am not...) God bless, and till Kingdom Come. Love you cuz. Peace out, frizzle. -Cousin Clay

  3. Replies
    1. Those were hearts, but I don't think they went through right, haha! <3 <3