Phew. Twenty weeks preggers, and can I just say nothing matures you quicker than carrying life within your womb. The last twenty weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions but a great maturing that has taken place in my heart and mind. I figured it'd be good to blog about it, since this blog is, after all, about my life as a wife and a mama.
I'm begginning to see that the most important things in life, outside of Jesus, are relationships. Everything material is beyond temporal, and relationships, if they are the right kind, are eternal. My heart has been turned towards my family in such a dramatic and intense way that I know God is setting me up to walk down a path that will lead me straight to Him. Ironically, when I was younger, I scorned stay-at-home moms who gave up their lives to be with their children, and who gave up earthly ministries to raise children. To me, they seemed un-spiritual, and weak. Well, if that's the case then I'm unspiritual and weak right alongside them, because my heart has been set on fire to be the very best wife and mom that I can be. Not that I wasn't before, but again, the depth and the height with which the LORD has taken it is undescribable. More than anything, I feel the LORD calling me to be a stay-at-home mom to raise Aaliya and co-labor in raising Daniella. Even my heart and my love for Daniella has matured and reached levels I didn't know possible. My eyes have been shifted towards eternity and I suddenly, don't care if I have an earthly ministry, if I get to preach to hundreds or "be somebody" in the body of Christ. More than anything my heart has been turned towards simplicity, servanthood and Heaven; eternity. Ironically, He did this by giving me a child (two, actually). It is absolutely outstanding what He has done in such a short time.
Even the meaning of sacrifice has changed in my eyes. Ask me to give up my cell phone and my time, and consider it a done deal... Ask me to give up my family, and now we're running into some resistance. Think about Abraham, giving up his only son. Put yourself in his shoes and then talk to me about the meaning of sacrifice. Well, that's a different lesson for another day... But seriously ponder on the meaning of sacrifice. A few sleepless nights, less luxury and more thriftyness. We consider this sacrifice? Give up your child for the sake of the Gospel, and then we'll talk sacrifice. LORD, help me. I'm done. I'm soo not gonna go into that one today. I will, however leave you with one thought. Jesus said, "Let the dead bury the dead." Think about what that really means.