Sunday, May 30, 2010

[enter in discouragement]

Okay, so at almost seven months pregnant (four more days of my second trimester) I feel like a ridiculous failure. The bulk of my pregnancy has been spent in a melancholy state and/or in a state of chaos. I am so ready for life without these crazy hormones. I really feel done.

I began this blog as a way for me to record this homemaking journey I knew I was to make. And instead of becoming a better homemaker, I feel discouraged, stressed and (evidently) frustrated. Maybe it's the standards I'm holding myself to, maybe it is these crazy hormones, but maybe it's the call to something deeper that I can't understand. Regardless of which one it is (though I'm beginning to think it's a little of all three) I'm ready to not feel like this. Ready to have my cup "runeth over" once again and not feel like everything I'm doing is a total wreck.

Forgive my Ecclessiastes moment, however I must say "There is nothing new under the sun! Solomon, I feel ya brother... If there's anyone out there actually reading my blog, I'm asking for prayer. Seriously. This rut has held me far too long, and I'm so ready for normalcy and fulfillment again. I want to be content with the life and the calling the LORD has given to me. So, with that being said... cue out discouragement, and please, enter grace...

1 comment:

  1. Girl I Love you but I have to tell you the will never go back to what you use to be. God is creating a new person. Your hornomes might go back to normal but life as you use to know it won't. Istead of dreading this feeling welcome it. Maybe fightinging change is working agenst you...let some of it happen. I think you might expect to much out of yourself. You are a wonderful person and I love you!