Friday, April 22, 2011

broken dreams can live again

pas·sion [pash-uhn]: a strong affection or enthusiasm for an object or concept.

Webster's proceeded to define passion with a series of descriptions defining lust and immorality and sex and ended with the definition the sufferings of a martyr.

As much as I'd like to say I'm writing about the last definition, I'm actually writing about the first. No, not the description of lust and immorality, the other first.

As a teenager I was one passionate kid. I mean, seriously.

It got me into trouble. Big trouble. But then again, it also served as a strength. I made foolish decisions out of passion while lacking in wisdom but I lived life to the fullest every second. But now, having lived a little, fell a little a lot, I've seemed to have lost most of the passion that defined me growing up.

Don't get me wrong, I'm passionate about my God and my family, yes... But even in that, there's passions placed in my heart for a reason and a purpose that I just seemed to have let go of.

And sadly this seems to be the case for most adults I know.

What is it about growing up that causes us to stop pursuing our dreams, to give up and give in to the mundane day to day living out mediocrity at best and forsaking the youthful dreams we once had?

Ok, so some of them are out of reach (let's face, I will never be a professional dancer) but does that mean that because I can't reach the moon I have to give up my love and pursuit of it altogether?

I sure hope not. For the sake of my family and unto the glory of God, I sure hope not.

I had a Daddy who was passionate about music. Playing it, hearing it, making it. I remember growing up, having watched him play every percussion instrument in the salsa world and the effect it had on me to see the passion in his heart being poured forth into music. It's always been an outlet. It's always been his way to worship... He is an outstanding Daddy passionate about his children, but he is also an outstanding man passionate about music.

And I think that's what we forget. At least I have.

I am a wife and I am a mother. But I'm also a woman with God-given passions, dreams and desires. I can't be great at one if I'm not great at the other. It is not a separation of identities, but rather the completion of who I've become. I cannot be an outstanding mother and wife if I am incomplete as a woman, and I cannot be an outstanding woman if I am forsaking the very ministry of family I have been blessed with.

I pray that my children grow up seeing how absolutely passionate I am about them and their Daddy, but I also pray they will grow up seeing how absolutely passionate I am about the Lord and how I worship and adore Him through the various gifts and passions He has ordained upon my heart.

I want to dream again. I want to dream as an adult, alongside my husband and children. I want to pursue the things I love to do with them and for them, so that they may see the complete me and not just half. I want both my girls to see Mommy do something that makes her come to life through Jesus. Whether it be dance, hospitality, teaching or painting...

I want them to see me worship Jesus through the passions He has placed within me.

Well, here goes nothing...

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