The week leading up to this "new-start" I had a million and one thoughts about whether this decision made me a good mom or a bad mom. Every argument ever heard on this topic came back to me like a flood of venemous waters and fear gripped my heart in a very nasty way.
"What if Aaliya prefers someone else over me?"
"What if our bond disinegrates?"
"What if she feels abandoned, rejected?"
"What will people think of me as a working mom? Will they consider me an awful mother for doing this?"
[enter brake noise here]
It is no secret that fearing man is one of my greatest struggles. And God confronted me with it face-to-face in quite a real way this past week. Turns out I'm quite an insecure mom. Turns out I tend to find my security in
Most decisions I've made in parenting have been somehow influenced by what someone else says. That. is. so. not. good.
It also turns out that faith is the most needed aspect in parenting. As I was praying over this entire work situation, the Lord impressed the following in my Spirit; "Trust that I will be Aaliya's Father; Have faith that I will complete the work I've begun in her. Give her up; she's not your child, she's Mine." I am not in any way relinquishing the God-given role of the mother to Aaliya Liberty; I am however relinquishing my desire to control and my fear of failure and man in parenting her. I am learning to believe and trust that He carries Aaliya as close to His heart as she is to mine (and even closer, still!) I am learning to believe and trust He has chosen me as her mommy and He has allowed our every circumstance to bring us to the place we are now.
Most things, we just can't control and as parents we are beckoned by Christ to place our trust and faith upon Him, as the solid rock and foundation of our very lives. His blood is sufficent for me, and His blood is sufficient for my daughter(s).
How have you had to place your faith upon the Rock in parenting?
*this post is linked to Living Well Wednesdays