"... but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised."
The woman in Proverbs 31 did all she did not to achieve a position of honor or to earn the praise of her family, but rather she did all she did out of a place of nearness and closeness to the heart of God. The service of the Proverbs 31 woman was not a means to an end, but rather an outpouring (the result) of the rooting and grounding of her heart in the Word.
"... the purpose of the Father's heart is intimacy, and even the fulfilling of task is to be in the context of intimate partnership [with Jesus]." -- Gary Wiens, Come to Papa
As a mommy and a wife, it is absolutely imperative for us to stay plugged in and connected to the heart of the Heavenly Father and that the ministry to our family is an extension and overflowing from that connection to Jesus. Every time I wipe my children's bottoms, serve my husband a hot meal, or clean (and pack!) the toilets in our home, I want it to be an outpouring of my intimacy and relationship with Jesus.
Out of that place of nearness to God, her family rises up and call her blessed. Out of that place of nearness to God, the heart of her husband trusts her. There is no to-do list that could fulfill the role, there is no how-to or formula that could make us that woman. It is only the grace of God and His mercy that make us into the image of a "worthy woman and the wife of noble character."
By His grace and His mercy. Amen.