Tuesday, October 30, 2012

sit still and breathe.

Three times a day, for the next five to seven days, I have to man-handle my two year old while I administer a breathing treatment.  At bedtime, the dose is doubled and it takes twice as long.  My sweet Liberty screams. Bloody murder kinda screams.  And my Mama's heart breaks every time.

Truthfully, I tried to avoid the treatments as much as possible. I postponed them as much as I could.  Praying for a Jesus-kinda miracle that she'd suddenly get better and I wouldn't have to wrestle with her. I'd wait until Daddy got home so he would have the daunting task of the Nebulizer (back when she only had to do it once a day). But, Jesus clearly had other plans and I just had to do it.  I will admit, I shed a tear tonight as I was man-handling her.

photo credit
"I love you sweet girl.  I'm sorry you're not enjoying this, but Mama has to do this.  You have to get better.  I can't have you being sick.  This is for your own good," I would whisper in her ear.

And then, it hit me. How many times has the Father whispered those same words to me in my distress?  When trials and tribulations head our way, how many times do we throw a tantrum, scream and cry at God saying "Dada, no! Stop, please!" (Replace Dada with Mama and you've got a clear picture of what my little girl was asking of me mid-cries and screams)  while all the while our Heavenly Father is whispering to our hearts, "I have to do this. I have to administer this suffering for your own good. It's going to expand your capacity to breathe in the breath of life.  It's going to keep death away that you may live and live well."

There are "spiritual treatments" so to speak that our Heavenly Father administers to us to rid of us that life-threatening disease we inherent called our sin nature.  There are trials and tribulations that we just have to go through to be refined and purified.

We all know it.  We hear about it at Church (well, at least I do) and understand it with our mind, but do we ever embrace it and live it out?  Liberty's breathing treatment is actually not painful.  She just has to sit still and breathe. Sit still and breathe. I can't help but wonder how many trials we endure that are actually painless, but because of our struggle and fight, we make painful.  I can't help but wonder what life's trials would look like if I just sat still and breathed.

Though some medical treatments are painful, most aren't.  They just require our cooperation and consistency. I have a feeling God's refining is like that.  It's not that we crave the "treatment" so to speak, but that if we would just sit still and breathe, the trial would be quick-lived and gone and all would be better. I'm pretty sure most trials are only painful because of our inability to trust and have faith that this is for our good.  But just like medical treatments have to be consistent, so does His refining.

Trials and tribulations are a fact of life and will continue consistently as long we're alive and especially as we serve Jesus. So, I'd probably better learn to sit still and breathe and trust that these "treatments" are all a part of His perfect plan to make me an eternal Bride.

Not sure if my tired-Mama-babble is making any sense, but I thought I'd share some of what Jesus has been sharing with me.


1 comment:

  1. found you via Women Living Well. Moments like that are the worst for mama's. praying for a speedy recovery.