Wednesday, March 9, 2011

the barometer of the home

Most of 2010 was a year of adjustment for Caleb and myself. There were a lot of transitions and a lot of changes going on (and may I say, a lot of hormones!).

We celebrated our first anniversary and found out we were expecting our precious baby girl. We jumped back into our home Church and the prayer room. We moved (twice), and we were both working full time jobs. On top of that, our characters were being sharpened and we were just unwilling to budge.

My home was a wreck! It was an unpleasant atmosphere both physically and spiritually and neither one of us enjoyed being home alone and/or for long periods of time.

Little did I know, that part, there was no one else to blame but myself.

Before we got married, my amazing brother-in-law Christopher (who also performed our wedding ceremony and did a fabulous job, if I do say so myself) sat down with us and had an "un-official counseling session." He gently yet firmly explained to us both the roles in which we were about to step into. Caleb is the head of the home, I am the barometer. It is up to me to set the atmosphere in our home.

I didn't fully get it that time. And then one day, in a moment of desperation, hopelessness and complete abandonment before the Lord, He spoke to me, in His faithfulness with a gentle rebuke and a sweet caress to my broken heart...

"Create a place where it will be easy to seek Me..."

And that was that... I began my journey to set the spiritual atmosphere of our home, understanding that when I obeyed that command He would fulfill the rest of His promises for me.

I believe it is so very important for wives to understand their God-given responsibility to create the atmosphere in their homes. With our homes as our domain it is up to us to "create such an atmosphere where our husband as well as other family members will look forward to coming home."* If we don't like being home, it is no one's fault but our own. We have been given the home as our domain, not our husbands and that is our prime responsibility.

So, how do I practically set the atmosphere in our home? I'm glad you asked. I've compiled a few of the things I do to create a pleasant and inviting atmosphere in our home both physically and spiritually.

  • I like to play worship music all day. Sets the tone spiritually to worship as a family later in the evening. And quite honestly, it frequently keeps me from "losing it" throughout the day.
  • I limit the amount of television and secular media that is played. Secular media is not a positive, godly nor holy resource and therefore allows for violence, anger or seduction to enter into our home. And Momma just won't have that!
  • I ensure that dinner is started by the time Caleb gets home and I tidy up the house so that he comes home to a relaxing place after having worked hard for us all day long.
  • Always always always speak exhortations and Scripture! "But avoid worldly and empty chatter, for it will lead to further ungodliness." (2 Timothy 2:16)
  • Pray at home! Prayer is the greater work with which we conquer mountains and giants. When I spend time in prayer for my husband, my children, my family and guests, conversations and visits are always pleasant and glorifying to the Holy Spirit.
  • If nothing else gets done around the house, always prioritize your master bedroom. It is the place of intimacy and rest for your husband and you. Having a place in which to "getaway" will do wonders for communication, unity and intimacy (both spiritually and physically).

I'm not an expert or anything, but it's just a few things I've done that have helped, so I thought I'd share! :)


  1. I love this! I totally agree that we are the ones the set the atmosphere in our home. There are days that I actually wake up discouraged, yesterday was one of those days, and I gave into that heaviness and watched more tv then normal and I could feel it in my spirit. The day dragged, the heaviness increased and by the end of the day I was done with everything, ready for bed. The days that I turn on worship before doing anything and focus on my kids and actually have quiet time while they nap, I feel empowered and like I accomplished something. The atmosphere in my home is way better. and I am in a good spirit when the hubbs gets home from work. Not to mention my patience with my toddler is 10x better =)

  2. Really great, Nicole! I love the gentle reminders and sage wisdom you share. I also love your "real-ness" about your struggles. I am also coming to terms with how I set the tone in the home. I know that with a little extra effort on my part, Nick is happier to be home, and the kids are more likely to engage in a more positive manner. Love ya!