I remember not being a Mama and thinking I would have it all together when I had my children. Mua-ha-ha. Yeah, in those days I thought I had it all figured out. It was kinda like my thoughts on my Pottery Barn catalogue home.
So not what I had in mind.
I have learned that I don't have it all together. I try my very hardest to show the love of Christ, but my children, often reject me. Daniella shuts down and Aaliya has an oober melt down complete with a mini-tantrum (yes, this stage has started wayyy early. We will be building her character asap). All my efforts to show Christ, to raise them up in the ways of Jesus come tumbling down and my hopes for a melt-down free home come down with it.
And then I remember how unbelievably inadequate I am to be a mother. But in this moment of complete brokeness and frustration, the sweet, ever-present whisper of the Holy Spirit reminds me that "it is not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit..."
Ahh, yessssss. I remember that in parenting, I am not in it alone.
"But the helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all I have said to you." (John 14:26)
He has given me quite an amazing parenting partner when you think about it. I am partnering with my husband and the best Father in all of human history. The Father who gave it all for love and who with a beautiful balance both disciplines and caresses His children unto maturity.
In moments when Caleb and I are not entirely sure what to do, I have to remind myself that He is perfect and He is the perfect Father, so He is my example and He teaches me all things. Including how to be the very best Mommy He has designed me to be. He has given unto me the Holy Spirit and regardless of how short I fall, because I have given my children to Him, He will perfect my children in His perfect ways.
I am just a vessel He is using to parent my children. So, weakness here I come. I will embrace you, trusting that my good Father in Heaven will more than make up for how short I fall and will use me as I pour my heart out over my children in praise and adoration to Him.