Tuesday, May 3, 2011

lessons learned while dancing

I love to dance. And I mean, really. I used to dance all the time.

But once again, the mundane got a hold of me and I stopped. Well, thankfully I've got a great set of friends who are actually salsa instructors for a wonderful salsa dancing company (if you live in FL and want to try dancing, hit them up!) and they asked me to run the door for their Clermont location on Friday nights.

I talked to Caleb about it, prayed and went ahead with it. Friday nights is officially Daddy-Daughters date nights. =)

Welp, I'm back in the swing of things... And by swing of things I mean I'm around dancing again.

I'm not dancing myself... much.

However in the midst of my non-dancing much, I am learning and being reaffirmed of one thing.

The man always leads.

In the words of one of the instructors, "Men, if you're not leading the lady, you are the lady."

He says it every beginner's class, and every class he gets a chuckle, but how very true it rings out here in non-dancing mundane real world.

The man was created and intended to lead. It is his job and his calling to be the head of the household and to lead his family into the very purpose which is set upon them by Christ.

Yet in our feminist minded society (why yes, I do happen to wage war on such ridiculous thinking-- feminism) the man and the woman lead, often times the woman taking the lead, demasculinating a man before he gets an opportunity to show what a God-minded, Word-driven, capable of leading man he truly is.

Call me old-fashioned, but I say the man leads. It's his purpose. It's his calling.

So, I'm pondering on this thought when one of the "assistant-teacher-ish" guys comes up to me (in the lobby mind you, because I refuse to dance where anyone's watching) and says "Come on, let's re-teach you how to dance"

Umm, no thanks. (enter fear of humiliation here)

But, I go for it anyway.

So as I'm dancing I realize that my entire life I've been playing lead in this dance of life. Or at least I've tried to. And I'm no good at it.

No wonder partner dancing and me never did well...

Then, of course, as I'm getting the "hang" of it again (and I mean I'm not stepping all over his toes) I hear Rachel (my very pregnant friend who's one of the dance instructors) bark at me... "Stop back-leading! Don't think about it, just follow him and don't think about it."

Apparently, I would follow him but turn when I thought I should turn and step when I thought I should step. I wasn't allowing him to show me or lead me to the place he needed me to be. I was still trying to make my own decisions. Because he's a pretty good dancer and I have 20% of the knowledge he does... I was wrong most of the time.

And then it hit me...

How many of us try to back-lead in our marriages? Portraying the appearance of submission yet really wanting to make things happen behind the scenes. There is still a lack of trust in our husbands and the God inside of them, so we "submit" but then turn and spin as we see fit.

It's one of those things that I need to pray outta me and practice the opossite. The true meaning of submission.

So, as I continue to learn not to backlead in salsa, I will be praying and working out my salvation in this aspect; I will honor my husband and trust the God within him wholeheartedly, practicing the art of real submission.

What about you? Are you aware of the full meaning of submission? What are some ways you may be trying to "back-lead" in your marriage?

This post is linked with Titus2days


  1. Great thoughts, Nicole. I know this is something I'm guilty of and need to work on--in real life and when we dance (which is hardly ever ;). Thanks!

  2. Love this post!!! Thanks Nicole!