Sunday, May 22, 2011

on forgiveness, Jesus and marriage


It has a bitter-sweet ring to it. You know, it's like... a four letter word, just with more letters... So, more sting.

One of the primary duties of a wife is to forgive her husband, daily for every single one of his shortcomings. Because ladies, your husband has them.

No? Oh, okay... maybe it's just mine.

Nevertheless, Scripture instructs us in 1 Peter 4:8 that love covers a multitude of sins.

"Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins."

I am convinced that this comes by one way and one way only.


Choosing to forgive him everyday.

Because he is as fallen as I am. Because I know how frail he is, and his heart is meant to trust mine completely (Proverbs 31:11). Because I am created as his help-mate and forgiveness is a step for him to become all he was created to be. Because I want him to forgive me when I make mistakes (and, oh I will... oh boy, will I). Because he loves me and at the end of the day, my anger is not as important as the vow we have made to each other.

But most importantly, I am called to forgive him because Christ said so...

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." (Eph 4:31-32)

... Just as Christ has forgiven me. Unconditionally. Without reserve. Without thought as to who's right or wrong, who's worthy and unworthy. He's forgiving me as a way to draw me closer to Himself... Because I am the desire of His heart.

Unfortunately, our culture is so saturated by such self-pity, independent, "I-have-the-right-to-equal-rights" flesh-set mindset that we have forgotten to teach the art of forgiveness.

And without forgiveness, marriage cannot work.

It is the design of God, to bring two imperfect vessels perfectly together, that we may understand forgiveness, even if it's a little bit better. It brings us closer to His heart, as He is the ever-forgiving, Holy and Just King.

He was meek and lowly, forgiving even unto the death.


  1. I heard a quote once that "There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love." This post reminded me of that. It takes a strong person to be able to forgive. Stephen and I made a pact long ago that we would never let the sun set and still remain angry at one another. It has strengthened our relationship beyond belief and it has forced us to communicate. Great things can come of forgiveness. =) Thank you for posting and reminding us all of that!

  2. This is so good, Nicole! Recently, a friend posted on facebook for ideas for their radio show and asked "what quality do you look for in a mate?" I commented, "the ability to forgive others and himself." Forgiveness is upmost in making a relationship work! We've been concentrating on that with the kids too. I said, "true forgiveness is forgetting the injury - letting go and not thinking about it any more." It's such a difficult thing to learn, but Jesus is the ultimate example.