Wednesday, June 15, 2011

on dripping, moodiness and repentance

Drip! Drip!

See, I have this thing with a close group of girlfriends and we have created a gentle rebuke to be said in public (and sometimes even during private conversations) when we are in any shape, way or form being disrespectful, dishonoring or in any way negatively impacting our husbands.
"A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day." -- Proverbs 27:15

We're still learning this 1 Peter 3, Galatians 5, Titus 2, Proverbs 31 business. So we keep one another accountable.

And yes, I heard this all day. And I quite literally mean all day.

You know that little, subtle, ever-so clear voice we love to unlike to hear sometimes; yeah, that one. The voice of The Holy Spirit. Yeah, He was speaking all day long.

But they weren't tender mercies. Well, not like butterfly-giving tender mercies. I got the other kind; the "get-off-your-moody-high-horse-and-serve-your-husband" kinda tender mercies.


I had intended for it to be a good, motivational day. Yeah.

And then somewhere between leading a prayer watch (which focuses on families and marriages mind you) and getting home to do my chores for the day, something went awfully wrong and I truly became an annoying, dripping faucet.

My dear husband, on a day like today would have avoided the wrath of me, but-- as God would have it--for the sake of my character building, he was home. And he was sick!

Poor man. Thankfully, the dear sweet Lord extended him (and me!) grace to survive today.

One friend whom I confessed my general moodiness and random disrespect towards my husband (okay, not so random... I'm sure it's coming from *somewhere*) asked what was fueling this... I don't know... Sudden burst of... sin?

Can you believe I used that awful, dreaded, horrific excuse of PMS? Yepp. I get angry at my husband when he asks me if I'm PMSing and here, today, on an off and horrifficly horrible day... I blame it on my good ol' pal, PMS.

Yikes! Days like today remind me how dreadfully human and how dreadfully fallen I am. It's true. I'm the chief of sinners! (Sorry Paul, I got you beat today) But days like today remind me to press in and keep leaning on my Beloved. It is true, of my own accord I can do nothing. Oh, but how beautiful the fact that "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13) On days like today, when every hormone in my body yelled out "rebellion, instability, craze!" His Word consistently whispered "submission, obedience, stability."

As I say "yes" even when my emotions and desires lead me elsewhere, He is transforming me and He is causing me to be like His Son, Jesus. So, I publicly repent.
Make me like Your Son, Abba. I desire to be with You, where You are. I desire to walk in affection-based obedience to You all the days of my life. May I be like-minded with You, Jesus Christ. Grant me Your mind, that I may love You with all my heart, with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my strength. Make me like You. Delight in me. Even in my weakness, in my darkness, on days like today. Dark am I, yet lovely. I long for Your Spirit to say of me, "Who is this, coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her Beloved?" So, come. Make me like Your Son. In Jesus' Name. :)


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